painting pictures.

I love this song by Sara Groves. It is the song of my heart the past few weeks and months as we've gone through transitions in several areas of life - occupations, roles in our marriage, our growing family. This is where I'm at:

I don't want to leave here 
I don't want to stay 
It feels like pinching to me either way 
The places I long for the most 
Are the places where I've been 
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It's not about losing faith 
It's not about trust 
It's all about comfortable 
The place I was wasn't perfect 
But I had found a way to live 
It wasn't milk or honey 
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt 
Leaving out what it lacked 
The future seems so hard 
And I want to go back 
But the places that used to fit me 
Cannot hold the things I've learned 
And those roads closed off to me 
While my back was turned 

The past is so tangible 
I know it by heart 
Familiar things are never easy to discard 
I was dying for some freedom 
But now I hesitate to go 
Caught between the promise 
And the things I know